I threw myself a royal pity party yesterday, and I was the star diva. But every party ends. And don’t you hate those parties where you look back at your own behavior and you feel completely embarrassed? That would be me.
I went to bed early last night and told myself that when I woke up, I was going to shake off the negative attitude and have a good day. And that is what I have done. I got up with Robbie this morning and got ready for work like a normal person. I still have some achiness/bone pain and food adversion, but instead of wallowing in it, I just accepted it and moved forward with my day.
Today was the first day I wore “red” to the office. It went over well though. No one laughed at me. One of my co-workers said she could tell that I was worried that it would move around on my head, and said it was amusing how stiff I held my head and neck.
I can’t stress enough that the challenge of getting through chemotherapy is very mental. The fact that the treatment is going to take MONTHS of my life messes with my head. I go to at least one medical related appointment each week. That totally sucks. It’s like you can’t get away from it – even for a week.
All this being said, I need to stop complaining. The alternative to chemotherapy is not an option. So red and I will keep on keepin’ on.