What a nice Saturday morning. I had a great night of sleep last night and woke up feeling refreshed. They called for a little snow last night, but it didn’t happen. But this morning we’ve been getting these little “blasts” of snow flurries. It is windy today, so the snow doesn’t really fall as much as it blows around. And the flakes are the big fluffy ones that are easy to see from the comfort of your warm house.
And since it’s a cold blustery morning I decided to curl up in my pajamas and find something to watch on television. A movie that I love was on – Julie and Julia. So I sat happily watched both the movie and the snow. Yesterday, I had picked up the stuff to make cinnamon rolls and surprised Robbie with those this morning.
One of the few positives of this whole experience is that I have so much more appreciation for the day-to-day. Before, a Saturday like this may have been filled with guilt about the many things I should be doing. But right now, my house is a mess, it’s after 11 and I’m still in pajamas, and I am ok with it. I’m enjoying this morning.
I feel a bit like I’m stuck in a moment right now. I have been given this horrible news of this illness that could be life-threatening. But I’ve been given a wonderful chance at a cure if I am strong enough to endure the treatment. And so right now, I’m in this weird “in-between” place. Not yet cured, but full of potential. And so there is this part of me that feels like I need to prove to the world that I deserve this chance. I need to be the best person I can be. I need to appreciate all the joy and beauty that life has to give. I need to be patient with others. I need to not want to kill the dog when she passes gas so terrible that I think I might pass out (as she just did).
I have been trying to think of a way to end this entry, but everything I type sounds like I’m trying to be Gandhi or advertise my new book on the power of positive thinking. Everything sounds just plain cheesy! So I’ll just end it by saying have a great weekend.