Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dancing in the Sunflowers

Cancer is no longer shiny and new. It’s no longer a novelty. It’s no longer this exciting thing that has happened. It is now just part of my normal. It’s no longer “Holy cow, I have cancer!” It’s more like “Yeah, I have it. I’m dealing with it the best I can.”

The side effects of the chemotherapy remain the same this go-around. I picture myself in one of those bizarre prescription drug commercials. I am dancing in a field of sunflowers in a white dress for no apparent reason. In the background, Mr. Announcer Guy is saying “Side effects may include numb fingers, headache, diarrhea, bone pain, muscle pain, fatigue, rapid heart rate, constant coldness, paranoia, anxiety, twitchy eye, food aversion followed by extreme hunger, hangover feeling, hair loss, and dry mouth.”

With these side effects, would I really be dancing in a field of sunflowers in a white dress? I think the image should of a bald person with a scowl eating a bowl of cereal. That would be so much more accurate. Or maybe someone in a straight-jacket in a padded room, which is where I belong during the prednisone days of my therapy.

All joking aside, I still feel grateful that my treatment is going well and I’m happy the chemotherapy is doing its job. I was at the oncology center for bloodwork yesterday and I had the unfortunate experience of seeing someone come out of the Doctor’s office after a not-so-positive diagnosis. It broke my heart, and gave me instant perspective. I am likely to survive this experience. Things could be so much worse.

I also had a moment of perspective during all things an episode of Glee. Two of the characters went to a local hospital to sing to the children with cancer. I think the kids they used in the episode were actual cancer patients. There they were with their bald heads, singing with big smiles on their faces. It made me feel like such a wuss! I need to suck it up. I am a grown-up, and I can get through this. Maybe I do need to get my ass outside in a dress and dance through the flowers.

More shout-outs to the amazing people in my life - a big THANK YOU to Terri, Leslie, and Sarah for replacing the Christmas decorations in my office with beautiful flowers and butterflies. And a shout-out to Angela in Atlanta for the awesome socks. I am cold constantly, and everyone has been concerned about my head, but my feet have been left in the cold. My feet are feelin' the love.

1 comment:

  1. Kelly, love this post and your comments about drug commercials and dancing in white dresses. You make me laugh - thank you for continuing to keep us all updated on your progress -and all of the ups and downs. You are amazing.