Are We There Yet?

Last night I could barely sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about today’s appointment with the oncologist. I had gone to bed early last night because I was exhausted. I told Robbie I wasn’t sure why I was so tired. But he referred me to my own blog post from my last oncology appointment at which I had mentioned I was unusually tired and thought maybe it was the antibiotic. Apparently I’m always tired during this point in the cycle. I knew this blog was good for something! I did eventually get to sleep, though the alarm went off way too early this morning.

I headed to work this morning because there was no way I was going to sit at home all day thinking about the upcoming reveal of my PET scan. Luckily I had a long list of things to accomplish today so the day went by quickly. Afterwards, Robbie met me at the house and we headed to my appointment together.

They first took my blood, as usual, and then we were put in the “lighthouse” room to wait for the Doctor. He didn’t make us wait long – he came in five minutes later and cut right to the chase. He said that the PET Scan results were great, and that I had near complete resolution. I asked what exactly that meant. He said that the mass was gone, and that the report stated that all I had were residual traces in my neck.

I asked how many chemotherapy sessions I still needed to complete. He said I still needed to finish the course of six (three left). I also asked if he still thought I’d need to have radiation. He said that he wasn’t sure yet. I asked if there was anything he could do about how crazy the prednisone makes me. He asked for clarification, and I explained that I was a weepy lunatic. He laughed and said that’s just how it goes.

Throughout this experience I’ve felt like the kid in the backseat that is constantly asking “Are We There Yet?” For too long this cancer has been in the driver’s seat and I’ve felt like the journey is never going to end. It’s been frustrating. But for the first time since this started, I believe with all my heart I’m going to make it. I really AM kicking cancer’s ass! It’s a good thing, because I’ve got big plans for the years to come.

I’m off to drink a glass of champagne and collapse from exhaustion.