Big Hairy Deal

It has begun.

Each day I give my hair a good tug. I don't want this hair-loss episode sneaking up on me. I want to know when it happens - makes me feel like I have a little control of the situation. I am starting to lightly shed. When I give a tug, I now get a few hairs. A shampoo yields even more.

Dramatized cancer always shows the hair coming out in big chunks. It never shows that for days prior to the chunks you just shed. Robbie and I both agree that when it gets to "chunk" time that we'll shave my head. I probably have a few days until that happens. So the jury is still out about whether I will start the year looking like Baby New Year!

I am bizarrely excited about this whole hair loss thing. To me, this says that the chemotherapy is doing all that it is supposed to be doing. If I didn't start to lose my hair I would worry that it wasn't killing the cancer cells either.

Thursday is my next round of chemotherapy. I am a little anxious. I have felt back to my normal self over the last few days. I will miss feeling normal. I am not looking forward to the steroids and the crash that follows. I also dread the loss of taste, though that may be a good thing after the holiday indulgences. I have also read that chemotherapy can be accumulative so some side effects may get worse. Or I may have additional side effects I didn't have the first time.

The discomfort is the price I have to pay to kick this. And the the price for long-term quality is often higher than you initially want to pay. But 20 years from now it will seem like a bargain.

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