I have finally dusted off the treadmill and gave it a spin. It was brutal. But I did it. I’ve been out-of-shape many times, so this isn’t my first time back in the saddle. But this definitely is going to be the hardest. My legs have never shaked so much in my entire life. I used to be an avid walker, and was known to walk an 8-mile stint on a Sunday afternoon. And the first time I did that, I had some shaky muscles. But I’ve never had that with only .6 miles. But tomorrow is another day, and it will get better.
I am hoping this exercise will give me a bit of confidence in my health. Or that at least the exercise endorphins will help me cope with the anxiety I still feel. I have extreme paranoia over every ache and pain. The ragweed has been getting to me, and I’ve had a little tightness in my chest. I know it is allergies because I can hear the wheezy congestion. But it doesn’t keep me from thinking I’ve having lymph node issues. Keep in mind this all started with an ear ache/sore throat. If I have lower back pain, I think I have cancer. If my foot itches I think I have cancer. If I have cramps, I think I have cancer. I wish I could stop these thoughts.
And apparently I’m not the only paranoid person in the household. I often get the question “Are you alright?” in response to every cough, sniffle, and groan. I know that it’s only out of concern, but it only plays into my already intense paranoia.
My plan to cope is to keep enjoying fall, keep walking, and hug some beagles.