How Are You Feeling?

I am getting this question a lot lately. Now that everyone knows that I’m cancer free I feel like there is an expectation that I’m back to normal. Even in my own mind I am convincing myself that all is well now.

Unfortunately though, I am just over two weeks out from my last chemotherapy session. My finger tips are still numb. My hair just stopped falling out. My digestion process is still out of whack. My mouth feel and taste are just getting back to normal. I still covet sleep. My muscles ache terribly after any sort of exertion. I know that they staggered each chemotherapy session to be 21 days apart so that you could recover prior to the next session. Next Thursday will be my 21-day mark so I’m hoping it is downhill after that point.

That being said, just knowing that the cancer is gone has made me feel so much better and has made the side-effects pretty manageable. I’ve really been trying to get back into a normal rhythm again. I worked a pretty full week last week. This past weekend was a full one as well. We went to Charlotte to shop at IKEA and Trader Joes on Saturday. I do have to admit, IKEA was exhausting. We had to take a break between furniture and housewares.

This upcoming week brings work travel! This is my first travel since the cancer diagnosis. I am meeting with the oncologist tomorrow for my post-chemotherapy follow-up, and then I am flying to Nashville for a few days. I have to admit I’m a little nervous about the work travel. I hate having to wear a wig, and I hate it when I can see people trying to gauge how to react to it. I also hope that I am fully-firing mentally. Sometimes when I’m really tired, I can’t find words or form my thoughts as quickly. I plan on going to bed really early Monday after my flight to Nashville in order to get a full night’s rest before my meetings start on Tuesday.

I will miss home the next few days. Robbie has really been my rock during this cancer thing, and I’ve really come to depend on him – particularly at the end of the day when I need to just talk through how I’m feeling about everything. I’ve told many people that the physical part of cancer was a little easier than I expected, and the mental part was a bit harder than I expected. But it certainly made me stronger.

Anyways, I have some laundry and packing to do and some resting to do. Hope you all have a great week. Wish me luck at my oncology appointment!