Bawk Bawk!

Today is Easter. Another holiday spent thinking about cancer treatment. I thought I would be free of these chains by now.

It was a wonderful weekend filled with family, sunshine, wine, and great food. It was great having Rosalie here, and it was nice to have my Mom here as a resident rather than a visitor. She outdid herself with providing us fabulous food all weekend. I was also finally able to drink wine without the acidity causing problems. We even colored eggs!

But as great as the weekend was, tomorrow starts the journey into radiation with my “set-up” appointment. They will do blocking tomorrow to ensure that I am in exactly the same position each and every time. I don’t know what all this entails, but they mentioned something about a face mask to hold my head. This should be interesting. I will have 18 sessions, and I’m not sure if tomorrow includes my first session. I am also not sure if I start right away or if there will be a delay. I feel like I’m always waiting for answers.

I also feel a little additional anxiety because we are crazy busy at work right now. I’m hoping, as requested, I can get early or late appointments for radiation, and that the fatigue will be minimal. I am tired of always feeling like the team I work with is putting in 110% and I’m always fighting to just keep up. I miss being an “A” Player.

Rosalie was reading my booklet “Radiation and You” and it mentioned that alcohol may again be off the menu during radiation. Bummer. In fact, because my radiation will be focused on my throat and upper chest, I could have problems eating or drinking due to swelling and pain in my throat. I hope that this is a worst case scenario and that like chemotherapy, not everyone will have all the side effects that are disclosed.

I am having a bit of post cancer anxiety related to recurrence. I find myself feeling my neck for swelling pretty much every day. I know it’s currently gone, but I really scared of it coming back. I am hoping that maybe the radiation will give me a little extra peace-of-mind.